The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous feeling of the words being there, written in invisible ink and clamoring to become visible. ~Vladimir Nabakov

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


Numbing is the choking feeling
Echoing amongst the grey walls
Of the animal doctors foul mouth
While hearing nothing but his lies
As tainted and bitter is the stench
Of this fetid one putrid word cancer
Fearfully and boldly it stares at me
From way behind my doggies eyes
This simply cannot be and I refuse
Overheating is my sweltering fuse
Sorrowful my emotions still quiet
As my garrotting throat is swelling
His skinny bony back I gently pat
As his lifeless tail still barely wags
And exhausted body behind me lags
Disgusted of this news, I am falling
Ugly seconds never cease to exist
Numb, lost and repel are on my list
Without safety net and frightened
Shattering onto the ground, balling
Hours I have left to say my goodbyes
Though grateful I am, still irresolute
For cold death second I have to face
As his lifeless body I firmly embrace
So we give love, hugs even kissing
Joyous and happy days reminiscing
His treats, walks, camping and fun
As he takes his final walk in the sun
And though choking is my gullet
I cannot help but to let him run free
Into the light to suffer no more pain
Of his aches I sense so sickly insane
Unwanted reaper nears behind the door
While I sit with my doggie on the floor
And the fatal needle is slowly injected
I give him my life though it is rejected
Shutting finally his brown yellowish eyes
Within ten seconds his head down he lies
Beside me upon the cold cement ground
Where his soul is freed as his body dies
Though cancer may have stolen his body
I refuse to allow it take of him any more
And hang on to my dearest memories left
With goodbye, final peek I closed the door

I was left totally heartbroken..... seeing him look at me before his eyes became glazed as the needle was injected & I saw him fade into the light & his paw became limp.  In that moment, my soul cried like a child.  Weeping, uncontrollably, feeling all those moments that should have been more cherrished.  It is a pain I never wish to feel again & yet I know, this circle of life repeats forever everywhere.  Life & death..... ♥

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