The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous feeling of the words being there, written in invisible ink and clamoring to become visible. ~Vladimir Nabakov

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Happy birthday baby....

Happy 10th birthday baby girl.... I love you soooo much. ♥
Kendra and I shared a very special bond at the time of her birth. What she has told me less then 6 months ago will blow your mind. I had a lengthy 24 hr birth and she wasn't even close to coming to this world with minimal dilation. I end
ed having a C-section. The birth water was grey due to her having a bowel movement from the stress of birth and both me and Kendra were running a high fever and threat of infection was upon both of us. C-Section was the only option to get her out fast. About an hour after my immediate treatment of severe drugs, they handed me my newborn little girl for only about 20 minutes after they thoroughly weighted and measured her. I immediately placed her upon my breast and let her feed whatever new/best stuff was coming out. Then she was taken from me and placed into an incubator. I wasn't worried, I thought it was normal procedure to let me rest for a little bit. Shortly after the nurse came to tell me that Kendra was having difficulty breathing and I went completely numb. A surge of heat rushed through my blood and terror with fear of possibly loosing her. My heart was beating a mile per minute. Only about 3 hours after my section at this time I insisted to get up off my bed into a wheelchair to see my sweet girl. The nurse said she didn't recommend it until few more hours of healing but I insisted. To be honest the pain was unfathomable and I don't remember how but I got into that wheelchair and was taken to see my baby. This is where the story of what she told me begins: She said -- "mom, I remember you on my birthday" and I said what do you mean which birthday are we talking about? She said no... my actual day of birth. She proceeded to tell me she was in a bubble like glass and she couldn't see my face clearly since everything was blurry but she could see my hand, feel me touch her hand and she said she heard my voice. I said "Kendra baby girl, it's your mommy and I love you soooo much" thank you for becoming my daughter, you are sooo perfect, you are my little angel, thank you God, please keep living and breathing and getting better, please please please - I cannot imagine my life without you in it." I love you sooo much! Then I prayed to God to help heal her and we held hands through the opening in the incubator for few more minutes. It is a moment I only knew of and never shared with her until she shared it with me. We shared the same moment you see. She has the exact same memory of me holding her hand, talking to her, reassuring her that all will be well. And she remembers the absolute love I felt for her, the warmth of the lights and my soothing voice. Words didn't matter. When she told me this I nearly choked on my tears. Why am I sharing this? Because we are magical special beings. Humans have abilities beyond imagination. I believe her every word to me. We have a special forever bond me and my girl. I love my daughter with all of my heart!! ♥   photography  photography  photography

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Lightning over Brantford - July 19th, 2013

Wicked Storm passed over Brantford on July 19th.  A series of four storms all within 4 hours of each other.  Reports of severe damaging winds, few funnel clouds spotted and even a tornado touched down along the Grand River.  It was quite terrifying with my kids in the basement I managed to get up and snap few photos of the extreme constant lighting show that the nature has provided me.