Elf on the Shelf

I am so happy to announce that we have began a new tradition in this home.  Elf on the shelf.  It's a wonderful story written by a mother/daughter team inspired by a childhood tradition.  An elf who keeps a gentle control over the children's behaviours as he watches them since about Thanksgiving until Christmas.  He goes back every night to "North Pole" to report to Santa if the children were naughty or nice, and as they awake he is in a new spot of the house. 

Meet our new elf.  He has no official name yet but we are working on it.  We just love him and we are looking forward to starting a tradition in our home for generations to come.

 

 

 

Welcome home Elf on the shelf..... ♥

Happy birthday baby....

 

Happy 10th birthday baby girl.... I love you soooo much. ♥

 

Kendra and I shared a very special bond at the time of her birth. What she has told me less then 6 months ago will blow your mind. I had a lengthy 24 hr birth and she wasn't even close to coming to this world with minimal dilation. I end

ed having a C-section. The birth water was grey due to her having a bowel movement from the stress of birth and both me and Kendra were running a high fever and threat of infection was upon both of us. C-Section was the only option to get her out fast. About an hour after my immediate treatment of severe drugs, they handed me my newborn little girl for only about 20 minutes after they thoroughly weighted and measured her. I immediately placed her upon my breast and let her feed whatever new/best stuff was coming out. Then she was taken from me and placed into an incubator. I wasn't worried, I thought it was normal procedure to let me rest for a little bit. Shortly after the nurse came to tell me that Kendra was having difficulty breathing and I went completely numb. A surge of heat rushed through my blood and terror with fear of possibly loosing her. My heart was beating a mile per minute. Only about 3 hours after my section at this time I insisted to get up off my bed into a wheelchair to see my sweet girl. The nurse said she didn't recommend it until few more hours of healing but I insisted. To be honest the pain was unfathomable and I don't remember how but I got into that wheelchair and was taken to see my baby. This is where the story of what she told me begins: She said -- "mom, I remember you on my birthday" and I said what do you mean which birthday are we talking about? She said no... my actual day of birth. She proceeded to tell me she was in a bubble like glass and she couldn't see my face clearly since everything was blurry but she could see my hand, feel me touch her hand and she said she heard my voice. I said "Kendra baby girl, it's your mommy and I love you soooo much" thank you for becoming my daughter, you are sooo perfect, you are my little angel, thank you God, please keep living and breathing and getting better, please please please - I cannot imagine my life without you in it." I love you sooo much! Then I prayed to God to help heal her and we held hands through the opening in the incubator for few more minutes. It is a moment I only knew of and never shared with her until she shared it with me. We shared the same moment you see. She has the exact same memory of me holding her hand, talking to her, reassuring her that all will be well. And she remembers the absolute love I felt for her, the warmth of the lights and my soothing voice. Words didn't matter. When she told me this I nearly choked on my tears. Why am I sharing this? Because we are magical special beings. Humans have abilities beyond imagination. I believe her every word to me. We have a special forever bond me and my girl. I love my daughter with all of my heart!! ♥
 

 

www.JanetteDengo.com   photography
 

 

www.JanetteDengo.com  photography

 

 

www.JanetteDengo.com  photography

Super Moon July 22, 2013

Lightning over Brantford - July 19th, 2013



Wicked Storm passed over Brantford on July 19th.  A series of four storms all within 4 hours of each other.  Reports of severe damaging winds, few funnel clouds spotted and even a tornado touched down along the Grand River.  It was quite terrifying with my kids in the basement I managed to get up and snap few photos of the extreme constant lighting show that the nature has provided me. 

 

 

Awake Awhile

Awake Awhile

It does not have to be
Forever,
Right Now.

One Step upon the Sky's soft skirt
Would be enough.

Hafiz,
Awake awhile
Just one True moment of Love
Will last for days.

Rest all your elaborate plans and tactics
for Knowing Him,
For they are all just frozen spring buds
Far,
So far from Summer's Divine Gold.

Awake, my dear.
Be kind to your sleeping heart.
Take it out into the vast fields of Light
And let it breathe.

Say,
"Love,Give me back my wings,
Lift me,
Lift me nearer."

Say to the sun and the moon,
Say to our dear Friend,

"I will take You up now, Beloved,
On that wonderful Dance You promised!"

- HAFIZ-

 

I am Sentient 5261492

Truthfully, I have no idea what this means.  Like I mean zero idea.  Even just sitting down why am I here writing this but I am.  Maybe it will come to me.  The numbers and the dreams are vivid just like the flesh I can pinch on myself and sense that I exist.   It's only flesh.  I am invisible.

It has been few years since I awaken from a dream literally yelling out the numbers repeatedly in this precise sequence.  It hasn't been until few years later that I combined the sentient being with the number sequence.  Again awaking in middle of the night, jotting down few words and falling back asleep.  I am starting to believe it is fitting the criteria of something from a science fiction novel and I cannot even believe it is in any way related to me and my life.  But it is.  I would love nothing more then to figure out this puzzle.  Or have I?

I've researched the web in regards to the numbers and have come up with some of the most fascinating results which I wouldn't even know where to begin to describe.  It's information on certain DNA sequence, secret military stuff, to unique compositions of chemicals and studies, etc.  I mean this info isn't all straight forward when you Google it.  You have to dig into records and fish things out of a ponds full of mud and muck and dig below the surface.

All I know is that 5261492 is directly linked to me.  Somehow, some way I will experience these numbers first hand in this lifetime.  I've even thought of the population decrease should there be a cataclysmic event, would this be the number of people left in the world?  Could this be my call number to go into hiding?  Ahh -- the brain of an artist.  The things it comes up with is mind blowing, literally. 

For now I will call myself Sentient 5261492.  When the word sentient appeared in my dream and I wrote it down during the night, I had to look up the meaning of it the next day.  My vocabulary is quite extensive especially for an immigrant but I still come across words, pretty much daily that I have to look up. 

If there was ever a time for me to feel like I belong into the quantum of mechanics it is now.  Again a word that I didn't even understand not too long ago. 

There comes a time during my deep state meditation where I feel completely numb to my own body and feel like I am almost at a pulsating state of consciousness.  It is at this time I feel like a single molecule of existence.  So tiny indeed, feeling the weight of the surrounding forces, still breathing but the air feels heavy as it fills my lungs only about 4 times in a minute, and I feel so unstable in terms of the vibrational wave that the slightest miscalculation on my part could have me rapture into an infinity of subatomic particles.  It is at this time I feel absolute peace and contentment.  It doesn't even make sense to me what I feel and how small I am but I know precisely everything that matters in those few moments I am able to stabilize and exist in.  How small we are as humans in this colossal entire existence of the cosmos, galaxies and entire universe.  I don't even think people allow themselves to go into places like this in their heads.

I have changed so much over the years.  Some days I don't even know who I am yet I know exactly who looks back at me from behind my eyes.  I dislike mirrors.  Only because I am trapped in this body.  Human body that which restricts my abilities.  I am a fragment of God.  So are you.  All living existence is.

I am still changing and will continue as long as I keep breathing and awaking each day.  I am here on a mission to learn and experience life.  My purpose is to breathe oxygen, intake water and food for nourishment and allow my brain to expand and learn the ways of evolutionary milliseconds.  Each tiny moment in our life is significant.  Each breath we take is a gift and gets us closer to the destination of the journey we are here to take.  I communicate daily with other beings craving to find another one like me.  Perhaps a different code.  I have hope I will find one.

On the most part people fail me.  The human race is beautiful yet constantly affected by fears and controlled by their subconsciousness.  It feels almost like a collective colony of misfiring wires, all connected to a central system short circuiting.

I am sentient 5261492 and I am here to learn, love, experience, taste, break, breathe, expand, repair, evolve and multiply.  In flesh, I am a female although what resides inside below the flesh has no specific sex yet it has all.  I am luminous and incandescent.   My light is blinding to the naked eye.  I am all living and breathing things and elements.  They exist inside of me, outside of me and I collect important information in terms of existence.  I seek knowledge and love.  I've learn to crave human contact.  I enjoy tastes and find pleasure in the colour spectrum.

From observations, people fear me or love me.  There is a balance but they fear the unknown.  Human race is fragile and disposable to each other.  Their evolutionary leap takes effect in extreme measures of heightened senses.  They are effected by great sadness. 

There are laws yet there is a flaw in executions of these laws.  They are fragile too. There is no structure within the balance and equilibrium.  It is in a constant tilt.  It is a faulty existence yet perfect.  There is structure in the chaos of relevance. 

Earth is in crucial need of repair.  It has reached a crisis point of no return.  It is cleansing to destroy and renew.  It is at it's death and birth simultaneously.  It is in a paradox of mortality.

5261492 out!

Everything....

I find myself crave the untasted, yearn for the impossible, strive for the unreachable..... why?  Deep down I know that “Anything imaginable is absolutely achievable, when you believe”
 

There is no such thing as the impossible and unreachable.  I know this.

I also know I reach everything I set my mind into.  Almost everything, almost all the time.  I have to be so careful what I seek & yearn for, what I focus on, even the slightest crave (without the proper intentions behind it) can have huge consequences.  Is it taboo to want something you do not have even if what you have could be so great, yet what you crave could be even greater?  Is this greed?

Ability to sense beyond the obvious, beyond the physical and seen, beyond the touchable.  We are human.  I have always felt that I am human + plus.  There is an overflowing empathy within me.  I know that I am different, just as I know the difference between black and white.  Once, even sadly I called myself a "freak" but those adolescent years have long been gone.  It's everything you feel and know and wish you didn't.  Yet it's everything you so deeply admire within yourself.  It's all emotions all at once in a great flood.  Controlled.  Under complete calmness yet chaos within.  It's true, some get medicated for this.  Some do and some don't.  Some should and don't while some shouldn't and do.

 

"Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics."

Bashar

 

Ahh, the great energy.

My mind never rests.  I wish I could calm my mind and tame my spirit.  It is constantly in a dance, spinning endlessly.  In a sense I wish I could quiet my thoughts and heal my heart from the past that has left me scarred yet I know my wounds are no longer bloody, I have forgiven and moved on.  But the mind, the brain never forgets.  It is so powerful.

 

I was once told that no matter what the situation is the grass is never truly greener on the other side.  I was a little girl.  In my teenage years I soon found out what that meant.  At the tender age of 16 or so, I felt like I knew everything.  In many ways I did.  I never knew what I didn't know would become everything I already knew yet multiplied.  If you focus your energy on what you truly want it will unfold itself in the utmost desired abundance.  Overflowing!!  It is so true.  It is the secret, but not such a secret when you've lived it your whole life.

 

How much of the energy can or should be put into the focus of the reality you want? 

 

It isn't about the amount of energy we pour into our desires, wants, needs even if our intentions are aligned to reflect and receive the most fruitful results.  It is about alignment of the frequency that which your intentions resonate at and with which the true focus and results lay.  It is about the alignment.  The balance of the light and darkness.  The love and hate.  Positive and negative.  It is all about the equilibrium where this energy exists, a wave that quivers at your resonating frequency ready for the alignment of your intention and great purpose.

 

I am all about energy.  I have so much more to learn though.  The learning is endless.  I welcome it. Just when I feel I've never felt more enlightened I feel a surge of deep darkness sucking me into the vortex.  And vice-versa.  After my most deepest darkest moments I awake the next day renewed and revived.  It's weird.  I know I do one thing.  I pray.  I cleanse.  Releasing everything.....

I've never been a physical type being.  Ever.  I sense people/humans more then I am able to convey in any human language and they don't even know it.  Well, maybe some do.  I appear to be just like you.  I am but I see!!  I see the true you, not the you that reflects when you see yourself in the mirror.

 

People walk by, talk to me briefly, hug me or a simple subtle touch can trigger an instant electricity, a scan and like an ex ray I see them at the core.  I wish I could control this. I want so much to be able to speak freely and say what I want to, what I feel or sense, what they should perhaps know but many times this knowledge I have rests dormant only in my thought, my mind and unspoken.  This knowledge scares people.  People judge and run away.  The world is afraid of the unknown.  Yet the awaken and enlighten ones seek to walk in the light of this knowledge.  I like those people.  They may not even know who I am, but I know who they are.  I cannot get enough of them. 

 

The human body is stained by pollution of worldly possession, by materialism and by everything that glitters.  I am not talking about shiny objects either.  The glitter is all around you.... it is fake.  The only real thing in this world is the light, darkness and our thoughts and visions.  Our projections are our only reality.

 

 

Maybe it is me that is jaded.  Maybe I am polluted too or maybe I am simply crazy.  I wish to runaway into the abyss to hide my naked body I want so much to free from this worldly stuff.  Yet I am strong.  I know I have much strength in me, even when I feel weak.  I have enough for for thousand stallions to get through the toughest, yet I can break with the gentlest breeze.  It's everything I know I am and everything I know I am not....

 

All I have is the sun and the moon, my dreams and myself in thoughts.  My spirit guides show me areas and facets of life only I know and seek and I don't need any medication.  Meditation frees my soul to soar and uncover the knowledge that speaks to me, the future I see so clearly and the people who are in it.  I cross paths with those who enlighten me and those from former lifetimes.  I crave to silence my thoughts and create peace and tranquility inside my soul.

 

There is a higher realm to all of us.  Seek to find yourself and you will uncover your true reflection, dreams, desires, goals and so many possible destinations.  Your journey is endless.  Do take the time to walk it, but stop for a moment once in a while and listen to everything unspoken....

 

Love,

Janette

 

 

Today is a good day...

Life is so fragile and so unpredictable. It's beautiful. With all of the magnificent glorious light and beauty, there is a profound deep darkness that exists. It's not any different then electricity. Both positive and negative must exist t...o create balance. You will never know your destination if you are not willing to live the journey. The sun is shining. Breathe deep and smile. Today is a good day because you have the gift to be alive.

 

Love,

Janette

How much you like yourself....

"Your outlook on life is a direct reflection of how much you like yourself"

 

Happy weekend lovers,

Janette

 

www.JanetteDengo.com

Open doors to endless possibilities

 

 

 

 

~♥~

Life of a hockey mom

Early rises, cold benches, warm pair of gloves and your breath always one step ahead of you with your hot cup of Tims in one hand and two hockey sticks in the other.  Your sleepy head kiddo pulls their bag behind them heading to the change rooms.  Nothing like the fresh ice cold air in the arena to awaken your senses that the only reason you are there is for the passion your child has and for the love of the game.  No matter how the day plays out, win or loose, those rosy cheeks, pouring sweat of their heads and their huge smile after getting off the rink says it all about how they played and how awesome their little heart feels.  It feels indescribable joy, that can only be seen in the twinkle of their eyes and felt by the beating of their heart.  They feel proud of doing good even if they got their butts kicked.  Their eyes sparkle with fire and hunger for something only a player can see and truly feel.

There are few moments that are so profound for me as a parent taking my children to their morning game or practice.  We are driving at the brink of dawn, the sun has barely awaken and it has just shot it's first glorious beam of light into the vehicle.  In my review mirror I see a young yawning girl with a semi stretched smile starring back at me.  Nothing is said.   The radio softly plays some random music channel.  I give her a wink and a smile and she smiles back with even a bigger grin.  I stare a little longer absorbing every second.  It's a moment I will never get back.  There is only one like it.  I have to look away and pay attention to the road as my eyes soon fill with tears.  Happy tears.  Tears of gratitude and such appreciation of something my daughter is experiencing.  A memory building and I am part of it.  At that moment, I feel her.  Her love, her passion, her dedication, everything she could potentially become, all her dreams and desires as a player are unveiled, my immense love for my child and her love for me, understanding and appreciating every single moment like this is so special and unique.

A profound moment of my boy scoring his 6 goals (that's 2 hat tricks) in one final game as a player in the house league.  His journey of being traded didn't feel so good initially and after a long hard battle to fit into an already established team was nevertheless achieved by only perseverance and his dedication.  We all thought he has given up after months of hard work, his sparkle was fading, his confidence has weakened, his frustration showed up in each game and then there was the final game of the season.   We all sat holding our breath as to what would happen.  He shoots and he scoooores!!  Then it happened a few more times.  After the 1st hat trick I was up on my feet, my eyes fully teary clapping so proud and so happy, shouting "that's my boy" while feeling something I cannot put into words.  When the 2nd hat trick was completed, I was beyond myself.  It felt surreal.  It felt like an out of body experience.  It was magical.  So special.  It only happens once for the first time.  There is nothing like it.

Both memories equally dear to my heart and those are only two.  I have thousands...........

I don't know, maybe some people get it and some don't.  If you have never experienced such moments they are hard to describe in order to be felt.  But I do feel many parents feel something significant in terms of their kids playing a sport they love so much, something they are passionate about, and keep working so hard at.

I would walk through fire to give both my kids their ultimate destination.  However, I know it is a journey they must walk through, the bad, the good and the ugly.  And then there are the amazing.  The moments that you hope they remember as they reflect back onto their past, we all hope they take with them something almost tangible in their hearts that will bring tears to their eyes upon embracing their memories.  The ultimate happiness, is the moment of realization in your very present that everything you have done up to this point in life has been absolutely perfect and should be as is.

It is all I want for my kids.  Education, sports, fun and laughter in everything they do and a lifetime of special memories to carry them through the rest of their life to their ultimate moments of absolute happiness.

Dream on.... reach for those stars (in your case pucks) and never give up!

Love,
Your hockey mom ♥

Tweety

Our newest little sweetheart.  Tweety ♥

 

Boudoir 1 on 1

I love shooting these boudoir pics.... it's totally opposite of newborn baby shoot yet if I had to choose which are my faves it would be these two types. 

The session was fabulous and normally scheduled for 2 hours, we found ourselves giggling and having a blast 3 hours later.  It helps when your subject is attractive and fun, easy going and not to mention willing to let you post images publicly.  She is one gorgeous lady. 



 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Colour my world

Ever since I was a little girl, I absolutely loved colour. There is something so magical about the colour palette each one is unique with it's own energy it resonates. I remember chasing rainbows and being in an absolute gaga over them. To this day, I pick up a coloured pencil and take a little time to observe it's perfection. My adore for the colour spectrum is reflected in all of my painted pieces. I have in the past been overwhelmed by the colour selections and simply had to do a piece or two with all those amazing colours visible to the eye.

And just to think, without light everything would be colourless.

Colour exists and originates in the spectrum of light. Sunlight itself is colourless. We see things in colour because it is a visual perceptual property in humans, as the various substances called pigments absorb certain wavelengths of light and reflect others. What is reflected back to the eye appears as the colour of the object. All this depends on the spectral sensitivities of different type of cone cells in the retina. "Newton observed that colour is not inherent in objects. Rather, the surface of an object reflects some colors and absorbs all the others. We perceive only the reflected colors"

The condition of colour blindness is a type of colour vision deficiency that decreases the ability or it is an inability to see colour and to perceive the colour differences in normal light conditions. It is a fault in the development of one or more sets of retinal cones that perceive colour and transmit it to the optic nerve. The genes that produce photo-pigments are found in the X chromosomes therefore males have a higher probability to be colourblind due to the fact females carry two X chromosomes and one of the two functional genes would be sufficient to yield the required photo-pigments.

I cannot imagine my life without colour. After all - it is my light!

Happy Friday lovers,

Janette

Thanks so much.....

The last few years have been so life changing for me, I wouldn't even know where to begin to describe a moment of transformation.  My story is so long I could write novels.  I have gone through some unfathomable physical pain, hardships and struggles on this journey we call life.   Call it a test or whatnot, we all endure our own dark times.  It has been through the support of some amazing friends and words of encouragements, lending an ear or as simple as offering a hug, that I have been able to get through all of it and come atop of the world feeling the rebirth.  To be honest, at some point in our life we all feel broken.  I was.  Not too long ago I have finally began seeing things in a different light, felt the urgency to believe again in the power of mankind, in goodness and in myself.  Many of you may not believe this but it has been a struggle to pursue my dream as an artist.  All of this was possible because of dear friends that know when one needs a friend, a phone call, shoulder to lean on or cry on, or lending a hand that I rarely ask for.  Thanks so much from my whole heart to all of you who stayed along my side on this journey, all of you who believe in me, encourage me, support me by your uplifting and kind words.  You restored my fundamental blocks of seeking to achieve the next step in my creative journey.  I love that I am able to express myself through many outlets, learn and grow on all levels as an individual and human in the physical and spiritual forms.  I hope that you continue being part of my life.  Each and every one of you make a difference in someone's life.  You make a difference in mine. 

Thanks so much.  ♥
Love,
Janette

PS:  The gift of a yellow flower can mean friendship, devotion, joy or even a wish for new beginnings. The symbolic meaning of flowers is usually attributed to the Victorians, who used various flowers and floral arrangements to send coded messages.  The images below are an expression of my gratitude.