The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous feeling of the words being there, written in invisible ink and clamoring to become visible. ~Vladimir Nabakov

Saturday, May 11, 2013


I find myself crave the untasted, yearn for the impossible, strive for the unreachable..... why?  Deep down I know that “Anything imaginable is absolutely achievable, when you believe”
There is no such thing as the impossible and unreachable.  I know this.

I also know I reach everything I set my mind into.  Almost everything, almost all the time.  I have to be so careful what I seek & yearn for, what I focus on, even the slightest crave (without the proper intentions behind it) can have huge consequences.  Is it taboo to want something you do not have even if what you have could be so great, yet what you crave could be even greater?  Is this greed?

Ability to sense beyond the obvious, beyond the physical and seen, beyond the touchable.  We are human.  I have always felt that I am human + plus.  There is an overflowing empathy within me.  I know that I am different, just as I know the difference between black and white.  Once, even sadly I called myself a "freak" but those adolescent years have long been gone.  It's everything you feel and know and wish you didn't.  Yet it's everything you so deeply admire within yourself.  It's all emotions all at once in a great flood.  Controlled.  Under complete calmness yet chaos within.  It's true, some get medicated for this.  Some do and some don't.  Some should and don't while some shouldn't and do.
"Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics."
Ahh, the great energy.

My mind never rests.  I wish I could calm my mind and tame my spirit.  It is constantly in a dance, spinning endlessly.  In a sense I wish I could quiet my thoughts and heal my heart from the past that has left me scarred yet I know my wounds are no longer bloody, I have forgiven and moved on.  But the mind, the brain never forgets.  It is so powerful.
I was once told that no matter what the situation is the grass is never truly greener on the other side.  I was a little girl.  In my teenage years I soon found out what that meant.  At the tender age of 16 or so, I felt like I knew everything.  In many ways I did.  I never knew what I didn't know would become everything I already knew yet multiplied.  If you focus your energy on what you truly want it will unfold itself in the utmost desired abundance.  Overflowing!!  It is so true.  It is the secret, but not such a secret when you've lived it your whole life.
How much of the energy can or should be put into the focus of the reality you want? 
It isn't about the amount of energy we pour into our desires, wants, needs even if our intentions are aligned to reflect and receive the most fruitful results.  It is about alignment of the frequency that which your intentions resonate at and with which the true focus and results lay.  It is about the alignment.  The balance of the light and darkness.  The love and hate.  Positive and negative.  It is all about the equilibrium where this energy exists, a wave that quivers at your resonating frequency ready for the alignment of your intention and great purpose.
I am all about energy.  I have so much more to learn though.  The learning is endless.  I welcome it. Just when I feel I've never felt more enlightened I feel a surge of deep darkness sucking me into the vortex.  And vice-versa.  After my most deepest darkest moments I awake the next day renewed and revived.  It's weird.  I know I do one thing.  I pray.  I cleanse.  Releasing everything.....

I've never been a physical type being.  Ever.  I sense people/humans more then I am able to convey in any human language and they don't even know it.  Well, maybe some do.  I appear to be just like you.  I am but I see!!  I see the true you, not the you that reflects when you see yourself in the mirror.
People walk by, talk to me briefly, hug me or a simple subtle touch can trigger an instant electricity, a scan and like an ex ray I see them at the core.  I wish I could control this. I want so much to be able to speak freely and say what I want to, what I feel or sense, what they should perhaps know but many times this knowledge I have rests dormant only in my thought, my mind and unspoken.  This knowledge scares people.  People judge and run away.  The world is afraid of the unknown.  Yet the awaken and enlighten ones seek to walk in the light of this knowledge.  I like those people.  They may not even know who I am, but I know who they are.  I cannot get enough of them. 
The human body is stained by pollution of worldly possession, by materialism and by everything that glitters.  I am not talking about shiny objects either.  The glitter is all around you.... it is fake.  The only real thing in this world is the light, darkness and our thoughts and visions.  Our projections are our only reality.

Maybe it is me that is jaded.  Maybe I am polluted too or maybe I am simply crazy.  I wish to runaway into the abyss to hide my naked body I want so much to free from this worldly stuff.  Yet I am strong.  I know I have much strength in me, even when I feel weak.  I have enough for for thousand stallions to get through the toughest, yet I can break with the gentlest breeze.  It's everything I know I am and everything I know I am not....
All I have is the sun and the moon, my dreams and myself in thoughts.  My spirit guides show me areas and facets of life only I know and seek and I don't need any medication.  Meditation frees my soul to soar and uncover the knowledge that speaks to me, the future I see so clearly and the people who are in it.  I cross paths with those who enlighten me and those from former lifetimes.  I crave to silence my thoughts and create peace and tranquility inside my soul.
There is a higher realm to all of us.  Seek to find yourself and you will uncover your true reflection, dreams, desires, goals and so many possible destinations.  Your journey is endless.  Do take the time to walk it, but stop for a moment once in a while and listen to everything unspoken....


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Janette --- you have written this with the finger of God guiding you. I feel every single word you wrote just as if I had a glimpse into your heat. Brilliantly put into words my dear I enjoyed it.