tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23512236238529605752024-03-13T13:02:05.217-07:00Life Journey of Janette DengoThank you for stopping by. Welcome to my affair with ink. Blogs, poetry & life events.janettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.comBlogger230125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2351223623852960575.post-1552542361987205972016-01-11T07:38:00.000-08:002016-01-11T07:39:24.175-08:00Kendra is a hockey starKendra is a hockey star! The Huntsville Tournament Peewee B championship game was televised on CTV Jan 10th, 2016. I am so proud of these girls & how hard they have worked this weekend. Definitely a proud mom moment. <br />
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<a href="http://barrie.ctvnews.ca/video?clipId=785140">http://barrie.ctvnews.ca/video?clipId=785140</a>janettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2351223623852960575.post-62557697900176170612015-11-11T15:21:00.001-08:002015-11-11T15:23:40.763-08:0011::11 100 YEARS<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "century gothic"; font-size: 12pt;">Very
somber day as I reflected on history & so many lives lost in so many senseless
wars. I was thinking about my grandpa who was shot in his upper leg during the
war but luckily survived otherwise I wouldn't be here. I silently honoured him
and the countless soldiers & distant families. It saddens me to the core
that the reasons for these wars were jealousy, hate, greed & need for power
and money. An urge for violence and bloodshed, an uncanny horror filled desire
for power and dominance. This power still resides in people and their blood
& in every living heartbeat. Nothing has changed. We only receive temporary
peace in borrowed freedom. This darkness exists in every human along with their
greatest lightest loving power. However. People still fight & are still so
greedy, envious & just pure evil!!! Pathetic little people we are! The real
fight is inside every single one of us because the ultimate choice of being
good or being bad ass reflects on the peace we reflect and work hard at!! It is
a war of all worlds, in all dimensions and in every single living cognitive
being. It is a war of thoughts, fed to you by people's opinions staining your
very soul, a war between your choices and doings. This war has no number
because it has been fought endlessly for eternity. A war between Good and Evil
and it will never ever end. We will never ever change. We are filled with
darkness just as equally as we are filled with light. It would take a miracle
to align everyone's thinking on an equal plateau of goodness & kindness and
frankly I have lost hope. </span><span style="font-family: "century gothic"; font-size: 12pt;">It is
just a matter of time until the next war strikes.....and I'd be a fool to think
otherwise. </span>janettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2351223623852960575.post-17460099270012355552015-10-11T09:55:00.001-07:002015-10-11T09:56:14.655-07:00BlessingsWe are so incredible blessed and happy to be enjoying our very first Thanksgiving at our new home. The trees and nature surrounding us in absolutely breathtaking. Loving the privacy, peace & contentment. Have a blessed & wonderful Thanksgiving everyone. xo<br />
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janettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2351223623852960575.post-20378457448791564672015-10-09T11:24:00.002-07:002015-10-09T11:24:37.576-07:00Happy Thanksgiving 2015<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Wishing everyone a wonderful and happy Thanksgiving weekend. </div>
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<br />janettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2351223623852960575.post-50599577872186628752015-01-01T07:42:00.002-08:002015-01-01T08:06:08.978-08:00Happy New Year 2015<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; text-align: start;">Should Old Acquaintance be forgot,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; text-align: start;">and never thought upon;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; text-align: start;">The flames of Love extinguished,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; text-align: start;">and fully past and gone:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; text-align: start;">Is thy sweet Heart now grown so cold,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; text-align: start;">that loving Breast of thine;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; text-align: start;">That thou canst never once reflect</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; text-align: start;">On <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auld_Lang_Syne" target="_blank">Old long syne.</a></span></div>
janettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2351223623852960575.post-67247363246043296542014-08-10T08:57:00.002-07:002014-08-10T08:59:40.918-07:00Life is a sparkle we are the LIGHT<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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janettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2351223623852960575.post-75624052540473129532014-05-28T08:55:00.001-07:002014-05-28T08:55:13.730-07:00Hugs From Heaven I woke up this morning and I was a bit chilly since all our windows were wide open to let the fresh air in. I reached in the closet and grabbed grandpa's sweater that I have kept for sentimental reasons. It hangs in our foyer closet as if he continues to exist and lives among us. It is one of the only material items such as a piece of clothing we have of him. Kids came down the stairs to eat breakfast and Kendra immediately walked over and gave me a big hug. She inhaled deep and smiled. "Grandpa's sweater" she said, stroking it for a moment and reflecting. Then Jake came down and he was smirking why I was wearing such old sweater and then even he realized. "Grandpa's sweater" he said and re-hugged me even tighter with a bigger smile.<br />
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I then walked over to my hubby making breakfast for the kids and hugged him. "Dad wanted to give you a hug today" and he just hugged me for a brief moment. I could tell he got a bit emotional. <br />
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Even though it was a simple thing and gesture on my part.... it made me feel good that I made everyone around me feel good and gave hugs with grandpa's sweater. <i> Hugs from heaven</i>.<br />
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As everyone scattered off to school and work I began cleaning the house knowing I have more work lined up once the house is clean. As I stood there washing dishes, I was thinking about those hugs I gave today wearing grandpa's sweater and I wished for one big hug from my grandma. I wished I had a piece of clothing I could put on, a scarf or something material. I don't.<br />
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My thoughts wondered for a bit and then it happened again. I got a call and the call display said Magdalena. That is my grandma's name. How many people have this name in town? What are the chances I get a call from such person? It was a wrong number and the lady had a heavy accent. I had goosebumps but good ones. I think it was my grandma sending me a hug across the land line wishing she could hug me too. I got my material item. A phone call from heaven because I wanted to give hugs from heaven using grandpa's sweater. It's a full circle of heavenly hugs. This is the 2nd time I had this happened to me. Some time last year I woke up with a very heavy sad feeling missing my grandma and nearly 5 minutes later I received a phone call with the call display "Magdalena" and I nearly dropped the phone. I know in my heart that our loved ones are with us. They are just as real as if in flesh except we cannot see them. They have the power to do great things and give us messages from beyond.<br />
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Tomorrow will be 3 years since my grandma's passing. May is the month that I lost the most dearest to me. First dad (my amazing father-in-law) and he's been gone for 4 years on May 17th. Then a year later I lost my grandma & tomorrow is her 3 year anniversary. And this year I lost my good friend Tara. I'd say that in those last 4 years I have undergone some of the most difficult times of my life. The struggles and daily trials were so unfair and the burden of dealing with some unforeseen situations was so toxic to my health. I've realized that the more difficult and heaviest of hardships are the biggest learning experiences of our life. I cannot imagine not undergoing anything I ever have because I always take something positive out of it. Although surviving all of it is another story all together. I count my blessings and never take things fore-granted. </blockquote>
I truly feel that this 4 year cycle of a great learning curve is over. I am so glad too. It has put a different perspective onto my life and in every way with all that has happened I am still so very thankful I have undergone what I did. Thankful for my lessons and thankful I was able to survive and overcome some very big hurdles and crawl out of some very deep and dark places. Which ever way I look at it, I'm a survivor.<br />
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Loving life and looking forward to the next chapter in my life. Grandpa's sweater will always remain my metaphor for what it represents in this family. "Fibers of great knowledge" It was his favorite sweater & he will continue to give us his hugs from heaven.<br />
<br />janettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2351223623852960575.post-58898305513191254422014-05-17T13:53:00.001-07:002014-05-17T13:53:39.325-07:00You live in the Light.....Albert, 4 years ago today you closed your eyes for the last time and opened up your soul to the heavens to be with our loving God .... You lit up the sky with your eternal light & became an angel to all of us. Your knowledge with genuine adore for mankind will continue to prosper inside your grandchildren. I can see your gentle eyes inside their faces as they sparkle full of life and joy. We miss you every day that goes by, we have our moments when the pain gets too much...missing you. We mostly laugh at your stories you left behind & silly things you have said or done. The sound of your laughter and singing still echos in the walls of your home & in our hearts . We cherish all the memories of 13 years you have been with us under one roof & we were so fortunate to have had you share those amazing years. You were the greatest dad & grandpa.... and you will never be forgotten. Today we celebrate your death as a rebirth into the glorious light. We Love you always. <span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.63636302947998px; line-height: 20px;">♡</span><br />
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<br />janettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2351223623852960575.post-67230499248635032422014-05-16T16:07:00.004-07:002014-05-16T16:07:48.266-07:00FB ConnectionIf you haven't yet... stop by for a sec & please make a facebook connection. Leave some footsteps & let me know if you have a fb page I will check out your work. :) Cheers!!<br />
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janettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2351223623852960575.post-17936049294462363832014-05-14T19:35:00.000-07:002014-05-14T19:53:09.756-07:00He has made everything beautiful in its time<span style="color: #37404e; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Tara, You have inspired me above and beyond. I have never looked at the bible the same way since your funeral. Something lit up inside me & the beautiful verses pop up & light up in the pages literally unfolding themselves. We have had our discussions of the bible & IF this is you showing me something much more profound then my mind can even comprehend right now, thank you. I have made my very first image with a bible verse incorporated into the feeling I got and I made it thinking of you. It is dedicated to you. These were my mother's day flowers which are so stunning and sum up life & existence but only like a grain of the sands on an endless beach. My photo doesn't even do it justice how marvelous & fragile life is & how the words "live your life to the fullest, because tomorrow may never come" have taken on a new meaning in my life. It is you that has altered that in me & made me realize something very sacred. I was thinking of you and your children missing you on this special day dedicated to all mothers & your babies missing you so much... </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #37404e; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Ecclesiastes 3:2-8 gives us a representation of different life experiences: “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace” This sums up this next one which has such a deeper meaning then the words can convey. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #37404e; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Ecclesiastes 3:11 "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end" God, I wish we could just chat for five minutes...... Loooove you! <3</span></span>janettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2351223623852960575.post-68060829155330255672014-05-14T16:44:00.000-07:002014-05-14T19:29:01.075-07:00Be still and trust that I AM....<br />
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Heartache and sorrow are the most soulfully painful experiences a human can feel. Although death is not our final destination, our physicality relies so much on the tangible of holding & touch flesh, hug and kiss or a silent connection made with eyes... there is such pleasure to be in the presence of a genuine loving person. We require human contact to laugh, dance, experience joy & sorrow equally, in order to fully Live.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IAtcuIzVxkQ/U2rRYXEKAVI/AAAAAAAABqg/9sdFN1n2S7c/s1600/wings+with+strength.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IAtcuIzVxkQ/U2rRYXEKAVI/AAAAAAAABqg/9sdFN1n2S7c/s1600/wings+with+strength.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a>I will never forget certain key moments I have had in life that shaped me into the human that I am. Special key people who made an impact on my life with their friendships. Even if it was just one thing that stands out that helps you get through a day by remembering. I will never forget the moment I realized that there is more to me then just my body, the day I realized I have a soul and the day I realized I could sometimes even see Auras. There are no words to describe how magical we are, superior beings of such magnificence and poise. Our purpose is to <i><u>Live </u></i>and touch lives by our existence.<br />
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I will never forget the day I felt the presence of God and Jesus enter my life... and at a later date enter my body to heal my sorrow. The angelic glorious realm of goodness, our Lord & holy spirit is so very real. I find comfort in prayer all the time. Just when I feel nothing can lift me, when all hope seems to be gone and when the pain feels like thousand knives at your heart, I turn to HIM. He heals me each time, embraces me in his glorious incandescent light and I feel comforted. <br />
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There are days I wish so much I could be with God, and not on Earth anymore but I have responsibilities as a mom to my kids to remain present in their lives as they need my love, nurturing and to be a positive role-model in their life & teach them what I am here to do. I don't know why life is so unfair sometimes and why it hurts so much to simply live. All I can pray to is that when life feels so heavy at times, I try to be still in my thoughts and trust that HE IS GOD. <span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 12.880000114440918px;">♡ Psalm 46:10</span><br />
<br />janettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2351223623852960575.post-79098737711423548692014-05-04T04:44:00.000-07:002014-05-04T10:04:30.499-07:00Angels<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nNfMTrRBTTc/U2Yi42HKphI/AAAAAAAABqE/kBrYsFNQ-dw/s1600/DSC_6093a+logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nNfMTrRBTTc/U2Yi42HKphI/AAAAAAAABqE/kBrYsFNQ-dw/s1600/DSC_6093a+logo.jpg" height="300" width="640" /></a></div>
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I was talking to my friend Robyn yesterday about so many emotional things and at one point I said I was just so tired of always being a messenger... while I wish that sometimes I would get my questions answered by messengers. Well I was truly shown again as I always am in certain key moments in life, that this is indeed my destiny and what a beautiful unveiling for me to comprehend to continue my journey with head up. <br />
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Shortly after we were finished talking I went into my cabinet and grabbed the angel wings my daughter Kendra gave me for Christmas. I have taken my wings off for few weeks wearing other costume jewelry for work. It felt so good to put them back on. I admired them for a while, how special they are. A gift. The wings. Entire concept from birth to death and how amazing life is. How fragile yet powerful our impacts are on people and their presence in our life matters. My beautiful daughter is my amazing Earth angel and transforming presence in my life & so is my son Jake. It all feels so surreal some days.<br />
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Tara always admired my work and she knew how attached I am to my camera and how I love taking shots of absolutely everything, including water droplets. She not only believed I would quickly capture the short lived rainbow, she knew I would share with everyone her beautiful message & I wouldn't shy from it. The rainbow only lasted about 30 seconds and I wished for all of her family and friends to be seeing it at that moment. Then I thought, but heck I just captured it and I am meant to share this with them. This is one of those profound moments when you realize it's a message yet you have to be a messenger to deliver. It felt pretty amazing actually. <br />
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I think this how certain special souls can really do magic and help us see beyond our own vision. I have been seeking a sign for me to continue on a path I find withdrawing from where I just don't have the time to pursue lately. I have been wishing and praying for a miracle for my friend Tara while she was laying in the hospital, not knowing what the outcome would be. I prayed and cried so much over the past weeks. <br />
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Oh, I saw so much more in one simple beautiful rainbow today through my tears flowing down my cheeks.... then I have seen in years. A beautiful little miracle.<br />
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The presence of angels and their power is so real. Rainbows are angelic messages from heaven above. It is so true and so very real. We are Earth angels to some and many continue this special gift in the afterlife. Tara was an angel to so many of her amazing friends and not to mention her children who she adores above and beyond. She wants her kids to know she will always watch over them and protect them, shelter them with her rainbows and her angel wings.<br />
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If Tara could speak she would be beyond herself amazed and so happy to know she has so many friends loving her so deeply and care for her so much. <br />
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I love you so much my friend T. You are truly an angel. ♡<br />
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janettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2351223623852960575.post-37861762524630802362014-05-03T08:57:00.004-07:002014-05-03T08:57:37.134-07:00The Presence of Love<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MkOB16YQ1QE/U2URFhIW5uI/AAAAAAAABpo/iEZBuDtlADo/s1600/Live.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MkOB16YQ1QE/U2URFhIW5uI/AAAAAAAABpo/iEZBuDtlADo/s1600/Live.jpg" height="472" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; line-height: 18px;">For my friend </span><a data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=538300447" href="https://www.facebook.com/tara.sauciukas" style="background-color: white; color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; line-height: 18px; text-decoration: none;">Tara Sauciukas</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; line-height: 18px;"> ♡</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">And in Life's noisiest hour,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">There whispers still the ceaseless Love of Thee,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">The heart's Self-solace and soliloquy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">You mould my Hopes, you fashion me within;</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">And to the leading Love-throb in the Heart</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">Thro' all my Being, thro' my pulse's beat;</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">You lie in all my many Thoughts, like Light,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">Like the fair light of Dawn, or summer Eve</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">On rippling Stream, or cloud-reflecting Lake.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">And looking to the Heaven, that bends above you,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">How oft! I bless the Lot that made me love you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">The Presence of Love</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">by Samuel Taylor Coleridge</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">Tara: You were simply one of a kind spirit. Your life journey touched & changed so many lives. I will never forget our conversations & I will treasure your knowledge and gift of making me see beyond my sight. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">I love you </span><span style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">♡</span></div>
</span></span>janettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2351223623852960575.post-78509157067787873312014-05-01T09:19:00.000-07:002014-05-03T09:20:23.622-07:00Happy 15th Anniversary<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lD26CoROjuE/U2UTVABHbNI/AAAAAAAABp0/kYqDUBbj3bY/s1600/DSC01706a+bw.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lD26CoROjuE/U2UTVABHbNI/AAAAAAAABp0/kYqDUBbj3bY/s1600/DSC01706a+bw.jpg" height="371" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.399999618530273px; line-height: 15.455999374389648px; text-align: left;">♡ </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.399999618530273px; line-height: 15.455999374389648px;">♡ </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14.399999618530273px; line-height: 15.455999374389648px;">♡</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Monaco;">How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,Monaco;">I love thee to the depth and breadth and height</span></div>
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My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight</div>
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For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.</div>
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I love thee to the level of everyday's</div>
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Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.</div>
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I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;</div>
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I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.</div>
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I love thee with a passion put to use</div>
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In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.</div>
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I love thee with a love I seemed to lose</div>
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With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,</div>
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Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,</div>
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I shall but love thee better after death.</div>
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<b style="color: navy; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,Monaco;">by<a href="http://www3.amherst.edu/~rjyanco94/literature/elizabethbarrettbrowning/menu.html"> Elizabeth Barrett Browning</a> (1806-1861)</span></b></div>
</span>janettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2351223623852960575.post-56000799383187258822014-03-01T16:53:00.004-08:002014-03-01T16:53:50.484-08:00What is...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hRt1cNviIRw/UxKA7IVNEdI/AAAAAAAABpI/d_RBqVSbpMg/s1600/Door+w+Einstein+Quote.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hRt1cNviIRw/UxKA7IVNEdI/AAAAAAAABpI/d_RBqVSbpMg/s1600/Door+w+Einstein+Quote.jpg" height="640" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />janettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2351223623852960575.post-23196666699605016262014-02-18T18:31:00.001-08:002014-02-18T18:47:41.797-08:00Artist and a beautiful mind<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I was recently asked who I am inspired by. To name a specific style or few artists and to be honest I didn't know how to answer that, in order for my answer to have a full impact on the person receiving the message and also for me to have a complete visual I am answering it to the fullest potential of who I am as an artist. I didn't even know where and with who to begin.<br />
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I have searched inside myself that question for weeks, yet I knew that the answer I originally given was short and precise. I keep coming up with the same conclusion. I don't have one, two or even few specific people that inspire me. I am truly inspired by so many different genres, styles, textures, elements and artists where not one specific stands out. It would be unfair to name only a handful and neglect to mention all. It's a collage of importance and the unimportant, the brilliant, foul, gray, black & white equally.<br />
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My inspirations can come unexpected to me from a simple homeless man on the street that captures the light and the image of this human imprints into my mind forever until the day I attempt to recreate the feeling it has left me with, by painting him/her or capture something similar with photography. Either way I'd work to expose a negative of the image in my memory & bring it forth to make it alive. It could be a feather, floating in the air on a busy jammed pack noisy street... where this feather can literally stop time for few moments as it floats ever so gently back & forth until it reaches it's gravital destination and lands gently on a wet paved sidewalk disappearing in an instance on the bottom of the shoe of one ten-thousandth foot that walked by me in those few seconds.<br />
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Inspirations can be as complex as <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Einstein" target="_blank">Einstein</a> with his brilliant mind and all his theories to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michelangelo" target="_blank">Michelangelo</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leonardo_da_Vinci" target="_blank">Leonardo da Vinci</a> the renaissance men who have left an extraordinary impact on our evolutionary leap, etc.. I am an information hound & in constant awe when I research or discover a new artist I've never heard of. A computer nerd that seeks out the information for no specific purpose other then to learn something new. When I can't sleep I often search the web and find links that lead me onto mini journeys. I'm never bored.<br />
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I was once accused of being a copy cat. I found that to be such an insult. However, I now know that it was only an evolutionary leap and acceptance of their own artistry without any merit to their accusations, the person who blamed me for such thing was indeed a full fledged copy cat themselves. And now I look at their accusation as a compliment that they felt threatened by me in any way.<br />
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My spectrum has no limits. I was always artistic, even when I didn't know it nor believed it. My focus is always broad and multi-sourced. I am never working on one project but dozens at a time. I don't always use my hands to create things. Things are born in my thoughts and often that is the only place they exist. I have an unlimited archive of art created but nobody has ever seen it. It has never been born. My mind simply never stops, hardly ever even at night during the time to sleep & rest, I am in a constant noise of silent thoughts.<br />
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To some maybe my conversations would be boring or totally wacky as to I have the vocabulary to use by means of communicating but my thought process is complex and slower in terms of being able to voice it and construct it appropriately for it to make sense visually to me, before I allow it to come out of my mouth. Does this make sense? To me it does. I am a great conversationalist and often my communications are lengthy and deep. Perhaps it takes a like minded individual to understand me or be willing to lend an ear. <br />
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And some days I am totally tongue tied & I cannot even form a sentence even if my life depended on it.<br />
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I am an extremist. A very visual person but one who has to have senses fed into the impressions and visions. Nothing without feeling is worth expressing. <br />
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When I was a little girl age 4, the circumstances of our life had me in a boarding school and I only came home on the weekends. Not many people know this story. It is a story that most don't understand when I talk about it but it was a way in my country with two parents working to sustain a living with nobody else to watch me. In those fundamental years, something inside me changed. I had to learn a process of being, feeling, suppressing, heightening, loving even as little as a 4 year old girl. Loving myself and believing in myself had to have a priority as I felt unloved & rejected. Protecting my own inner thoughts and not allowing them to be heard by the caretakers, has left imprints of so many emotions I now tap into as an adult, slowly unlocking doors to my past, with the countless keys I discover on my journey of living. Some are fearful but always intriguing even the scary ones. I find discovering and unlocking my past makes me stronger.<br />
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Some of my youngest memories go back to being 4-6 months old. I have full details of my clothing, building structures around me, people's faces, tastes, surrounding areas and my memories are vivid and real. I communicated with my invisible friends who I now know were angels and spirit guides. I find it amazing how the process of a child's mind changes over the years of becoming a teen, then adolescent and finally an adult. <br />
Visions of beings as a child are light, awesome and filled with superior amazement. As we age, these same beings can become feared by us all together and many times rejected. As we age, we loose our ability to hear but this is only an illusion. Everything is still all the same, we only have to unlearn all learned.<br />
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When I was nearly 5 I was kidnapped and missing for about 30 minutes. A neighbor saw me leaving with a stranger while playing outside and soon I had the neighborhood looking for me and I was found safe by my mother who ripped me out of the tight grip of this stranger. I often wondered if this story was real as it seems so unreal to me to have survived this but the memories are very real to me. It is in fact a real story as confirmed by my mother, as are all the stories I have shared with her of my very early childhood and she confirmed clothing, homes, furniture, people and items that may have been present as I described them to her. I'm not totally nuts & this brings me some comfort.<br />
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I thank the fact I could read a books as young as 6 years old, I was able to read to myself visualizing and fantasizing the story itself as I was literally in it. My imagination and my prayers and love for God has always been my saving grace. In the art of a child'd mind everything is real just as life. I was a young child who feared her father the most but I feared, respected and loved God more. He was the only one who saved me on daily basis. He is the only one who saves me still. Over time my fear of God grew to absolute unconditional love, until there isn't bigger love to feel then the love for God, equally loving for your children and people you'd die for.<br />
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My abilities were always suppressed and hidden however, I sometimes used it as child's play to entertain myself. I knew things that would frighten a kid and things I shouldn't know or see. There were so many other forces at work and now when I look back on my life, it is to me often unfathomable how I am able to still be here surviving all I have and not be locked up in a padded room over-medicated. But then I think about other people's hardships and I understand everyone lives a different story and endures their own share of hard times, sufferings and even horror. <br />
<br />
Escaping my country into Austria, was an extra-ordinary developmental step for me. I was 12. Being in a refugee camp is a memory so frightening yet so dear to me. It was at this time I became a real kid and exposed so raw to other nationality, culture, and various different types of people who influenced me so deeply. I think living in fear from my bio father for 12 years has kept me from expanding fully my thought process and my journey ultimately transitioned into a heightened and enlightened path I didn't know yet. It is at this age I cocooned unknowingly & began growing my secret butterfly wings, that were invisible for so long even to me.<br />
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Finally away from my abusive father (who I have learned to forgive and accept as a somewhat brilliant mind) my entire life changed. My wings grew over the course of few hard years learning a new language and re-learning how to walk the new soil across the ocean. Loosing all my friends wasn't easy but wasn't as hard I thought it would be. People's faces literally changed and the way I learned to understand English was reading lips and the language unheard from behind the eyes. It's amazing how much you can learn about a person from silence just by listening to the untold story of their eyes and what life lives behind them.<br />
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I always look into people's eyes but my eyes always travel to the lips too where I find comfort in the visual of watching them speak so I clearly understand each word. I often wonder how the mind processes those words. Do I hear them in English and transfer them into Slovak my native tongue only to transfer them back into English to comprehend?<br />
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To this day all my childhood friend are all alive and they are all 12 years old. They will always be 12, it's such a perfect innocent age to be. It brings me comfort to go back to being 12 a time of when I saw them last, and revisiting that chapter I left behind so long ago. Without goodbyes, I love and miss them all so much. To them individually, I must have just died disappearing into this country, but to me collectively they all live and are remembered. Even to this day, I try to recollect their names at least their first names but my mind and memories are slowly showing their age.<br />
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My challenges are deeply rooted in the acceptance of myself as a great artist even though I am told very positive things about my art and talents on a regular basis. I don't think it is fully about confidence and acceptance. I have that modesty that humbles me and knowing that I am only a grain in the endless sands makes me feel small in the artistic field. I think it is about never ever settling to accept myself as a great artist because I am constantly changing, learning, expanding and altering my styles and talents. The word great is related to a size and or dimension. To accept I am great would be limiting myself to a certain size or dimension, large or small and I am neither. I am multi-dimensional, well at least my thought process is anyways. My decisions, your decisions and every second alters the results of life and I think about that daily and in the choices I make.<br />
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I do have a beautiful mind, my thoughts always travel into the depths of existence and I seek the knowledge and truth that which is not seen nor felt. I am equally dark and have my deep dark moments that allow me to feel profound sorrow and pain. My soul always quivers to be anything but human even though I know it is a gift to be human and exist on this plain at this very present. I try every day to accept and appreciate my human abilities and gifts. I am very grateful. I have an ability to sense fully the physical, yet feel so limited in this unlimited universe to be in flesh. I wish I would have full control of what my mind is capable of - and do it in flesh. It is constantly wavering and seeking to pinpoint yet it is hindered by the only thing it can be. Me. Until I find a way to unlearn all that I have learned, I am influenced by all that is humanly related. <br />
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So what makes an artist?<br />
<br />
We are all artists. Every single soul on this planet is an artist just as he/she is beautiful. Some are just more in the highlight and/or are able to express themselves in a way that influences the objector on some level. Weather you are the creator or the viewer of art, you are equally creative. It takes a process to internalize art and let the mind communicate it to the soul. It takes a beautiful mind to appreciate an artist. <br />
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Love,<br />
Janettejanettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2351223623852960575.post-71572595764518234812014-01-29T06:36:00.002-08:002014-01-29T16:52:39.749-08:00I AM....<div class="MsoNormal">
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">I’m ordinary. I get weak, I bleed
& I cry too. Not a superwoman, not a
hero, nor a doctor, lawyer, dentist, teacher or politician. But I am a mother & a wife. I shout, I spank, my house is very messy at
times & I have very lazy days. I love to dance. I understand peace as much as I do hell. I believe in the </span><span style="line-height: 24.533334732055664px;">unbelievable</span><span style="line-height: 115%;">. I am unique yet indifferent. I am loyal yet have cheated. I do everything I set my mind to do - except how to fix what really
matters. I don’t have money but I work hard
every single day. I value moments of
life. I'm a foodie. I appreciate pleasure & pain equally. I don't know how to lie but I have done it. I understand balance yet I live in a crooked
world. I am kind yet ruthless. I see the unseen. I am jaded but I have faith. I see the light & blackest darkness. I have debts & doubts. I love laughing. I make mistakes
and even lost a friendship. I am not a
material girl yet I drink & gamble. I
don’t believe in perfection yet I find myself aim for the unreachable. I have God. I hate money & liars. I love colour yet I live black or white. I feel invincible just as much as invisible. I am driven by extra ordinary force. I see beauty in things people overlook & throw away. </span><span style="line-height: 24.533334732055664px;">I love living but I'd die for my kids.</span><span style="line-height: 24.533334732055664px;"> </span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> I know how to keep a secret but I don't like them. </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">I am crazy but I blend in. </span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> I explore things that scare me the most. </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">I don’t brag but I am proud.</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">I don’t try things, I do them.</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">My actions must have a purpose.</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">I am real.</span><span style="line-height: 115%;">
</span><span style="line-height: 115%;">I am human. </span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> I AM EXPOSED.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
janettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2351223623852960575.post-15013779500519854352013-11-28T16:51:00.000-08:002013-11-28T16:51:00.479-08:00Elf on the ShelfI am so happy to announce that we have began a new tradition in this home. Elf on the shelf. It's a wonderful story written by a mother/daughter team inspired by a childhood tradition. An elf who keeps a gentle control over the children's behaviours as he watches them since about Thanksgiving until Christmas. He goes back every night to "North Pole" to report to Santa if the children were naughty or nice, and as they awake he is in a new spot of the house. <br />
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Meet our new elf. He has no official name yet but we are working on it. We just love him and we are looking forward to starting a tradition in our home for generations to come. <br />
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Welcome home Elf on the shelf..... ♥</div>
janettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2351223623852960575.post-67760787620057402672013-07-24T10:40:00.004-07:002013-07-24T10:47:33.867-07:00Happy birthday baby....<span class="userContent"></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Happy 10th birthday baby girl.... I love you soooo much. ♥</div>
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Kendra and I shared a very special bond at the time of her birth. What she has told me less then 6 months ago will blow your mind. I had a lengthy 24 hr birth and she wasn't even close to coming to this world with minimal dilation. I end</div>
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ed having a C-section. The birth water was grey due to her having a bowel movement from the stress of birth and both me and Kendra were running a high fever and threat of infection was upon both of us. C-Section was the only option to get her out fast. About an hour after my immediate treatment of severe drugs, they handed me my newborn little girl for only about 20 minutes after they thoroughly weighted and measured her. I immediately placed her upon my breast and let her feed whatever new/best stuff was coming out. Then she was taken from me and placed into an incubator. I wasn't worried, I thought it was normal procedure to let me rest for a little bit. Shortly after the nurse came to tell me that Kendra was having difficulty breathing and I went completely numb. A surge of heat rushed through my blood and terror with fear of possibly loosing her. My heart was beating a mile per minute. Only about 3 hours after my section at this time I insisted to get up off my bed into a wheelchair to see my sweet girl. The nurse said she didn't recommend it until few more hours of healing but I insisted. To be honest the pain was unfathomable and I don't remember how but I got into that wheelchair and was taken to see my baby. This is where the story of what she told me begins: She said -- "mom, I remember you on my birthday" and I said what do you mean which birthday are we talking about? She said no... my actual day of birth. She proceeded to tell me she was in a bubble like glass and she couldn't see my face clearly since everything was blurry but she could see my hand, feel me touch her hand and she said she heard my voice. I said "Kendra baby girl, it's your mommy and I love you soooo much" thank you for becoming my daughter, you are sooo perfect, you are my little angel, thank you God, please keep living and breathing and getting better, please please please - I cannot imagine my life without you in it." I love you sooo much! Then I prayed to God to help heal her and we held hands through the opening in the incubator for few more minutes. It is a moment I only knew of and never shared with her until she shared it with me. We shared the same moment you see. She has the exact same memory of me holding her hand, talking to her, reassuring her that all will be well. And she remembers the absolute love I felt for her, the warmth of the lights and my soothing voice. Words didn't matter. When she told me this I nearly choked on my tears. Why am I sharing this? Because we are magical special beings. Humans have abilities beyond imagination. I believe her every word to me. We have a special forever bond me and my girl. I love my daughter with all of my heart!! ♥<br />
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</span><br />janettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2351223623852960575.post-44087026593523120372013-07-22T21:48:00.003-07:002013-07-22T21:48:50.627-07:00Super Moon July 22, 2013<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />janettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2351223623852960575.post-91302576677417145602013-07-14T21:46:00.000-07:002013-07-22T21:47:07.048-07:00Lightning over Brantford - July 19th, 2013<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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Wicked Storm passed over Brantford on July 19th. A series of four storms all within 4 hours of each other. Reports of severe damaging winds, few funnel clouds spotted and even a tornado touched down along the Grand River. It was quite terrifying with my kids in the basement I managed to get up and snap few photos of the extreme constant lighting show that the nature has provided me. </div>
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<br />janettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2351223623852960575.post-52311115743716197442013-06-25T09:17:00.002-07:002013-06-25T09:24:18.814-07:00Awake Awhile<div align="center">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Awake Awhile</span></div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It does not have to
be<br />Forever,<br />Right Now.</span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One Step upon the Sky's soft
skirt<br />Would be enough.</span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hafiz,<br />Awake awhile<br />Just one
True moment of Love<br />Will last for days.</span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Rest all your elaborate plans and
tactics<br />for Knowing Him,<br />For they are all just frozen spring
buds<br />Far,<br />So far from Summer's Divine Gold.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Awake, my dear.<br />Be kind to your
sleeping heart.<br />Take it out into the vast fields of Light<br />And let it
breathe.</span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">Say,<br />"Love,</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Give me back my
wings,<br />Lift me,<br />Lift me nearer."</span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Say to the sun and the moon,<br /><span style="color: black;">Say
to our dear Friend,</span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I will take You up now,
Beloved,<br />On that wonderful Dance You promised!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><a href="http://encyclopedia2.thefreedictionary.com/Hafiz" target="_blank">- HAFIZ-</a></span><br />
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janettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2351223623852960575.post-73087621886187913762013-05-31T21:54:00.000-07:002013-06-01T10:26:46.174-07:00I am Sentient 5261492<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Truthfully, I have no idea what this means. Like I mean zero idea. Even just sitting down why am I here writing this but I am. Maybe it will come to me. The numbers and the dreams are vivid just like the flesh I can pinch on myself and sense that I exist. It's only flesh. I am invisible.<br />
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It has been few years since I awaken from a dream literally yelling out the numbers repeatedly in this precise sequence. It hasn't been until few years later that I combined the sentient being with the number sequence. Again awaking in middle of the night, jotting down few words and falling back asleep. I am starting to believe it is fitting the criteria of something from a science fiction novel and I cannot even believe it is in any way related to me and my life. But it is. I would love nothing more then to figure out this puzzle. Or have I?<br />
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I've researched the web in regards to the numbers and have come up with some of the most fascinating results which I wouldn't even know where to begin to describe. It's information on certain DNA sequence, secret military stuff, to unique compositions of chemicals and studies, etc. I mean this info isn't all straight forward when you Google it. You have to dig into records and fish things out of a ponds full of mud and muck and dig below the surface.<br />
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All I know is that 5261492 is directly linked to me. Somehow, some way I will experience these numbers first hand in this lifetime. I've even thought of the population decrease should there be a cataclysmic event, would this be the number of people left in the world? Could this be my call number to go into hiding? Ahh -- the brain of an artist. The things it comes up with is mind blowing, literally. <br />
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For now I will call myself Sentient 5261492. When the word sentient appeared in my dream and I wrote it down during the night, I had to look up the meaning of it the next day. My vocabulary is quite extensive especially for an immigrant but I still come across words, pretty much daily that I have to look up. <br />
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If there was ever a time for me to feel like I belong into the quantum of mechanics it is now. Again a word that I didn't even understand not too long ago. <br />
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There comes a time during my deep state meditation where I feel completely numb to my own body and feel like I am almost at a pulsating state of consciousness. It is at this time I feel like a single molecule of existence. So tiny indeed, feeling the weight of the surrounding forces, still breathing but the air feels heavy as it fills my lungs only about 4 times in a minute, and I feel so unstable in terms of the vibrational wave that the slightest miscalculation on my part could have me rapture into an infinity of subatomic particles. It is at this time I feel absolute peace and contentment. It doesn't even make sense to me what I feel and how small I am but I know precisely everything that matters in those few moments I am able to stabilize and exist in. How small we are as humans in this colossal entire existence of the cosmos, galaxies and entire universe. I don't even think people allow themselves to go into places like this in their heads.<br />
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I have changed so much over the years. Some days I don't even know who I am yet I know exactly who looks back at me from behind my eyes. I dislike mirrors. Only because I am trapped in this body. Human body that which restricts my abilities. I am a fragment of God. So are you. All living existence is.<br />
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I am still changing and will continue as long as I keep breathing and awaking each day. I am here on a mission to learn and experience life. My purpose is to breathe oxygen, intake water and food for nourishment and allow my brain to expand and learn the ways of evolutionary milliseconds. Each tiny moment in our life is significant. Each breath we take is a gift and gets us closer to the destination of the journey we are here to take. I communicate daily with other beings craving to find another one like me. Perhaps a different code. I have hope I will find one.<br />
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On the most part people fail me. The human race is beautiful yet constantly affected by fears and controlled by their subconsciousness. It feels almost like a collective colony of misfiring wires, all connected to a central system short circuiting.<br />
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I am sentient 5261492 and I am here to learn, love, experience, taste, break, breathe, expand, repair, evolve and multiply. In flesh, I am a female although what resides inside below the flesh has no specific sex yet it has all. I am luminous and incandescent. My light is blinding to the naked eye. I am all living and breathing things and elements. They exist inside of me, outside of me and I collect important information in terms of existence. I seek knowledge and love. I've learn to crave human contact. I enjoy tastes and find pleasure in the colour spectrum.<br />
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From observations, people fear me or love me. There is a balance but they fear the unknown. Human race is fragile and disposable to each other. Their evolutionary leap takes effect in extreme measures of heightened senses. They are effected by great sadness. <br />
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There are laws yet there is a flaw in executions of these laws. They are fragile too. There is no structure within the balance and equilibrium. It is in a constant tilt. It is a faulty existence yet perfect. There is structure in the chaos of relevance. <br />
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Earth is in crucial need of repair. It has reached a crisis point of no return. It is cleansing to destroy and renew. It is at it's death and birth simultaneously. It is in a paradox of mortality.<br />
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5261492 out!<br />
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<br />janettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2351223623852960575.post-28808066339709296292013-05-11T20:11:00.002-07:002013-05-11T20:19:19.074-07:00Everything....<div style="text-align: left;">
I find myself crave the untasted, yearn for the impossible, strive for the unreachable..... why? Deep down I know that <span style="color: maroon;"><em>“Anything imaginable is absolutely achievable,
when you believe”</em></span><br />
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There is no such thing as the impossible and unreachable. I know this.<br />
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I also know I reach everything I set my mind into. Almost everything, almost all the time. I have to be so careful what I seek & yearn for, what I focus on, even the slightest crave (without the proper intentions behind it) can have huge consequences. Is it taboo to want something you do not have even if what you have could be so great, yet what you crave could be even greater? Is this greed? <br />
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Ability to sense beyond the obvious, beyond the physical and seen, beyond the touchable. We are human. I have always felt that I am human + plus. There is an overflowing empathy within me. I know that I am different, just as I know the difference between black and white. Once, even sadly I called myself a "freak" but those adolescent years have long been gone. It's everything you feel and know and wish you didn't. Yet it's everything you so deeply admire within yourself. It's all emotions all at once in a great flood. Controlled. Under complete calmness yet chaos within. It's true, some get medicated for this. Some do and some don't. Some should and don't while some shouldn't and do.</div>
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<em>"Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics."</em></div>
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<strong><em>Bashar</em></strong></div>
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Ahh, the great energy.<br />
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My mind never rests. I wish I could calm my mind and tame my spirit. It is constantly in a dance, spinning endlessly. In a sense I wish I could quiet my thoughts and heal my heart from the past that has left me scarred yet I know my wounds are no longer bloody, I have forgiven and moved on. But the mind, the brain never forgets. It is so powerful.</div>
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I was once told that no matter what the situation is the grass is never truly greener on the other side. I was a little girl. In my teenage years I soon found out what that meant. At the tender age of 16 or so, I felt like I knew everything. In many ways I did. I never knew what I didn't know would become everything I already knew yet multiplied. If you focus your energy on what you truly want it will unfold itself in the utmost desired abundance. Overflowing!! It is so true. It is the secret, but not such a secret when you've lived it your whole life.</div>
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How much of the energy can or should be put into the focus of the reality you want? </div>
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It isn't about the amount of energy we pour into our desires, wants, needs even if our intentions are aligned to reflect and receive the most fruitful results. It is about alignment of the frequency that which your intentions resonate at and with which the true focus and results lay. It is about the alignment. The balance of the light and darkness. The love and hate. Positive and negative. It is all about the equilibrium where this energy exists, a wave that quivers at your resonating frequency ready for the alignment of your intention and great purpose.</div>
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I am all about energy. I have so much more to learn though. The learning is endless. I welcome it. Just when I feel I've never felt more enlightened I feel a surge of deep darkness sucking me into the vortex. And vice-versa. After my most deepest darkest moments I awake the next day renewed and revived. It's weird. I know I do one thing. I pray. I cleanse. Releasing everything.....<br />
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I've never been a physical type being. Ever. I sense people/humans more then I am able to convey in any human language and they don't even know it. Well, maybe some do. I appear to be just like you. I am but I see!! I see the true you, not the you that reflects when you see yourself in the mirror.</div>
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People walk by, talk to me briefly, hug me or a simple subtle touch can trigger an instant electricity, a scan and like an ex ray I see them at the core. I wish I could control this. I want so much to be able to speak freely and say what I want to, what I feel or sense, what they should perhaps know but many times this knowledge I have rests dormant only in my thought, my mind and unspoken. This knowledge scares people. People judge and run away. The world is afraid of the unknown. Yet the awaken and enlighten ones seek to walk in the light of this knowledge. I like those people. They may not even know who I am, but I know who they are. I cannot get enough of them. </div>
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The human body is stained by pollution of worldly possession, by materialism and by everything that glitters. I am not talking about shiny objects either. The glitter is all around you.... it is fake. The only real thing in this world is the light, darkness and our thoughts and visions. Our projections are our only reality.</div>
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Maybe it is me that is jaded. Maybe I am polluted too or maybe I am simply crazy. I wish to runaway into the abyss to hide my naked body I want so much to free from this worldly stuff. Yet I am strong. I know I have much strength in me, even when I feel weak. I have enough for for thousand stallions to get through the toughest, yet I can break with the gentlest breeze. It's everything I know I am and everything I know I am not.... </div>
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All I have is the sun and the moon, my dreams and myself in thoughts. My spirit guides show me areas and facets of life only I know and seek and I don't need any medication. Meditation frees my soul to soar and uncover the knowledge that speaks to me, the future I see so clearly and the people who are in it. I cross paths with those who enlighten me and those from former lifetimes. I crave to silence my thoughts and create peace and tranquility inside my soul.</div>
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There is a higher realm to all of us. Seek to find yourself and you will uncover your true reflection, dreams, desires, goals and so many possible destinations. Your journey is endless. Do take the time to walk it, but stop for a moment once in a while and listen to everything unspoken....</div>
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Love,</div>
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Janette</div>
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janettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2351223623852960575.post-58949944319673999292013-05-06T14:47:00.000-07:002013-05-09T14:48:56.385-07:00Today is a good day...Life is so fragile and so unpredictable. It's beautiful. With all of the magnificent glorious light and beauty, there is a profound deep darkness that exists. It's not any different then electricity. Both positive and negative must exist t<span class="text_exposed_hide">...</span><span class="text_exposed_show">o create balance. You will never know your destination if you are not willing to live the journey. The sun is shining. Breathe deep and smile. Today is a good day because you have the gift to be alive.</span><br />
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Love,</div>
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Janette</div>
<span class="text_exposed_show"></span>janettedengohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02290787632505299767noreply@blogger.com0