The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous feeling of the words being there, written in invisible ink and clamoring to become visible. ~Vladimir Nabakov

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Life - simple - beautiful

Just like this one special enchanted day, I can still feel in my veins like it was yesterday, I feel the beauty of life all around.  The beauty of the significant people in my life to the wackos who've come & gone, to the mother who gave me life and father who scarred my heart.  I hold a place in my heart for way too many to mention, because they all help in shaping me somehow.

Time flies, we age, and just like the seasons we shed our leaves and await rebirth after the long winter months.  I love fall, well actually I love all seasons as there is something so beautiful and magical in each and every one.  Winter is filled with chill & wonder, crispness of snow when everything is white & pure, underneath resting asleep, dormant waiting to awake. 

Spring, when all new life sprouts...... it's all so beautiful.  For the longest time summer was my favourite. It's hot and I love it.  As I get older, I find something magical in every season.  The memories I think are the ones that I reflect back on.  There are many held precious & few & far in between that I can clearly see in my mind's eye.

Perhaps I feel a shift in me just like the seasons do, I sense a deep connection to the elements just as I do in people.  If mother nature has a clock, to shed leaves to anticipate a long rest only to awake refreshed, rejuvenated, so do people.  Personally, I'm so tired.  Tired of being treated with little respect & tired of always being, carrying, giving, communicating, expressing.... Tired of always have to defend my right to be and feel.  Tired of having to explain to people they are mistaken & tired of trusting that my truth is enough.  It never seems to be, but that is not my problem.  


But, like the winter solstice, perhaps I too am in need of rest.  Knowing me though, it would be hard to rest my busy little fingers as there is much to be said from my heart, there is a life story in each and everyone & me just simply having the need to be able to express my feelings, emotions, joys, sorrows & all that life unfolds. 

When I look back onto my years, I'd like to reflect with the peace of feeling I aged with grace and that I've learned something along this journey.  This life, that is so meant to be lived to the fullest, with amazement, with all the love there is, with all the pain there is, with all the beauty it gives, so simply.

As I meet folks from all over and my life story unfolds with unique individuals entering & departing my life, it allows me to grow.  Grow on all levels possible, to see, experience all there is on this earth.

No regrets.

I hold no ill feelings towards people & cannot & will not be responsible for the choices of others.  We are all equal, we are all children of the Earth, brothers & sisters.  Wouldn't it be nice if we could all learn how to love each other with a little more compassion & respect?  Why are people so malicious with everything?  Nature, animals, humans........... themselves.

Just like I see the world unfold through the eyes of my beautiful kids, I relive a little piece each time I see them smile at something in amazement, a toad in the forest, a funny leaf, the stars and each time they cry and shed tears of sadness, so do I.  On the outside, I'm strong, mature, empathetic, confident, vigorous & vibrant.  Inside, I'm just a child who lives in this body that developed, matured, endured and ages, daily.  

Just as my daughter grows & matures, there are days that she is so emotional... so beside herself with sadness & pain, I cannot explain to her why she feels what she feels, perhaps she too is an empath.

Sometimes, children just cry.... & yet there is something still so beautiful in it.

Life is beautiful, just as it is, simple.


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